It’s one of the first questions I get asked in almost every exploratory call: do I need a lawyer to do this? The short answer is no, not to start. But the fuller answer is a little more nuanced, and it’s worth understanding before you decide how to move forward.
Mediation and Legal Representation Aren’t an Either/Or
A lot of people come to me assuming they have to choose one path: hire a lawyer and go the traditional route, or skip lawyers entirely and mediate. In reality, mediation and legal advice usually work best together, just not at the same time or in the same room.
As your mediator, I’m a neutral third party. I facilitate the conversation between you and your former partner, help you both work through decisions about parenting, support, and property, and keep things moving in a productive direction. What I can’t do is advocate for one of you over the other, or tell you whether a particular outcome is the best deal you could get under Ontario family law. That’s not a gap in the process. It’s what keeps mediation fair for both people at the table.
Where a Lawyer Fits In
This is where independent legal advice comes in. Once we’ve worked through the issues in mediation and reached decisions together, I’ll prepare a document, often called a memorandum of understanding, that outlines everything you’ve agreed to. From there, each of you has the option to bring that document to your own lawyer for review before it becomes a finalized separation agreement.
Having a lawyer look things over isn’t a sign that mediation didn’t work. It’s actually a normal and often recommended part of the process. A lawyer can confirm that what you’ve agreed to is legally sound, flag anything that might need adjusting, and make sure the final agreement is enforceable. Some people involve a lawyer earlier, before mediation even starts, just to understand their rights going in. Others wait until we have a draft agreement in hand. Both approaches are completely valid.
Why Starting With Mediation Often Makes Sense
One of the reasons couples choose to start with mediation rather than going straight to separate lawyers is cost and tone. Mediation tends to be more affordable than a fully lawyer-led negotiation, and because you’re working through decisions together rather than through two sets of correspondence, it often stays a lot calmer. That matters, especially when you’ll still be co-parenting or navigating shared finances long after the paperwork is signed.
Virtual mediation makes this even more accessible. You can join sessions from home, on your own schedule, without needing to coordinate two lawyers’ calendars just to have a conversation about your kids’ school schedule or how to divide a shared account.
So, Do You Need a Lawyer?
You don’t need one to begin mediation with me. What I’d encourage instead is keeping the option open. Many of my clients complete the entire mediation process and only bring in a lawyer at the very end, for that final review. Others prefer to consult one along the way for peace of mind. Either way, you’re never mediating in a legal vacuum. The process is designed to work alongside legal advice, not instead of it.
If you’re not sure where to start, that’s exactly what our complimentary 20-minute exploratory session is for. We’ll talk through your situation, answer your questions about how mediation and legal advice fit together, and figure out what makes sense for your family.